Edie's OOC

[Lady Edfeil]

Two days before our trip to Washington, our first little get away as a couple, with grandma and grandpa taking care of our little boy for a weekend. and of course Joseph decided that now it was his turn to have a cold. So in between trying to get my cough down, get suits and dresses clean, I am trying to apply suction to a little nose attached to the most wriggly boy this side of the moon. Who is currently very unhappy with me for some reason. He wants to go outside to play, but it is way too cold to do so until the afternoon, and he is just a cranky little fellow today, his chin dripping with saliva and his nose running like a faucet. Ahhh... motherhood. It's not for the faint of heart.

[Lady Edfeil]

14 hours in a car with a todler.

Enough said.

[Lady Edfeil]

I love Christmas. I love the whole season. I am humming carols under my breath and find myself more patient than at other times during the year. I love setting up the nativity scene. I love the whole "For unto us a child is born" joy that comes from a holiday that celebrates something of such magnitude. Many people, Christian or not, feel atracted to the story of Christmas. A small child being born way out in the field in a stable, because there was no room for him at the inn.
I love the fact that love seems to reign during this season, and that sometimes miracles happen if you just look for them. I know the news seems to fill the living room with tidings of shopping madness and commercials show reindeer burried under gifts. Only a big screen TV will do for the man in your life it seems. What nonsense.
Joseph has this little Nijntje book in which the main character, Nijntje the bunny, has a birthday. Her gifts are: colouring pencils, a little whistle and and a little scisor. And later on she gets a bear from her grandparents. I like Christmas presents, but the thought put into them is always more wonderful than just getting a high prized gift.
I love how many people try to keep Christmas a religious holiday if they are Christian, or a family holiday if they are not. To focus on love most of all.

[Lady Edfeil]

This time of the year always makes me feel nostalgic. I love looking back on what the years have wrought and forward towards what is still to come. Therefor, between this and new year, look for the 9 secrets of Edfeil. Little memories of roleplays, quirky details that you may not know about or have forgotten and maybe even some surprises.
One secret for each year that I have played, and one for the new year to come!

[Lady Edfeil]

December sixth is Saint Nicholas day in many countries around the world (december fifth in the Netherlands). In the US the tradition is only observed by some people, mostly Catholics. Finding the Saint Nicholas cookie cutters too late on a website to have them delivered, I decided to shape some homemade speculaas dough by hand. With a bit of imagination, you can recognise a bearded man, with a miter, bishopsrobes, and a staff in his hand.




On the evening of December fifth everyone puts their shoes in front of the fireplace and in the morning, the good Saint leaves candy and small gifts. Joseph received a little nativity scene and a pair of boots to use in Belgium at Christmas, mommy a knitting book and daddy a


We were extremely lucky to have a REAL Saint Nicholas near us. The local Orthodox Church has a yearly festival for this advent Saint. With the blessing of the local bishop The Reverend Father Thomas Moore is Saint Nicholas for one day. In memory of the Saints generosity, the children get one gold Chocolate coin, and on my request, Father blessed our Joseph.

[Lady Edfeil]

Traveling to Europe is challenging. Traveling to Europe with a todler is extra challenging. Traveling to Europe with a todler while having the stomach flu and going over Chicago in wintertime is madness.
Unfortunately, Joseph does not seem to have handled too well with the change. At first he seemed to accept the timedifference perfectly, b ut he is waking up screaming frequently and it tugs at my heartstrings. I know I can't go and pick him up every time, because else I woudl quidckly find myself in the same situation as I was six months ago, with waking up five or six times per night to tend to him. But I hate sitting here and listening to him cry.

[Lady Edfeil]

Christmas with children is a whole other experience. Last year, my first Christmas with Joseph went by in a fog of over exhaustion and dissapointment. Life with Joseph did not become much easier after that for nearly half a year more. Now, while we still have challenges, I feel like I am slowly returning to be a human being, which makes it much easier to be a mom. THe fact that Joseph is a wonderful, happy boy though, reassures me that I was a mom to him also when it was not easy.

This christmas so far has had it's own challenges. I will not even bring up the disaster of a journey that we had to Belgium or the annoying (though praise God not serious) ilnesses that we seem to go through each time we come here.
But there are things that are simply different when celebrating Christmas with a child. Traditions must change.. expectations be altered and the whole experience is a lot less cerebral and serene.


There are so many changes. We ended up not having a christmas tree inside at all this year. It was too much of a hassle to put one up in our own home when we were going to Belgium anyway on the 17th, and come back only after new year. And here at my mothers house, she -wisely- decided it would be much safer and simpler to put the tree outside. That also means... no ornaments in it as the ones we have are not suited for outside. That means no traditional decorating of the tree on the tones of Toon Hermans' Christmas skit and remarks about the little birdy that has graced the tree as long as I remember or 'my angels' the plastic, silver coloured angels of which one has a wing missing.

I did manage to put up a nativity scene in our house in the US, high up on the mantle since it is a beautiful, woodcarved scene that isn't intended for little childs hands. To compensate that, we bought a nice plastic nativity as well to put in the reach of little hands. Which lead to such wonderful exclamations as "Joseph, don't eat the baby Jesus!" But also to such tender scenes as Joseph giving little baby Jesus a kiss.
Unable to resist, we bought a second nativity for Joseph when we discovered the above duck nativity. With his duck obsession, it was a must. Fond memories include Joseph removing one of the three kings and adding a fireman duckie. New traditions are made. I think every nativity from now on will have to have fireman duckie somehwere nearby.

A bit more poignant is that we did not go to midnight mass for the first time in say... twenty five years. But with a todler finally on a semi decent sleep schedule waking him up at ten before midnight is just not an option. Instead we went to the noon mass today. A better choice. Despite it's lack of bells and whistles we were able to celebrate the birth of Our Lord with a happy toddler who even consented to remain in his stroller the entire time. When I went up for communion, my prayer was the same as last year: Lord, help me become a good wife, mother and above all a good Christian. I miss midnight mass, but as I have come to accept, this is a seaon in life where some things have to give way for other things. If I wish to celebrate a Child born unto us, I should not be grumbling and grudging about the things I need to change in my own beloved routines and traditions because of my sweet son.
Now more than ever, we are a new family, with new traditions in the making. Maybe I did not have a christmas tree with an angel that has a broken wing. But I had a duckie nativity, with one of the three wiseman replaced by a fireman. Life is good, Christ is born!

[Lady Edfeil]

Edie 'secret' number one: There is something special about Edie's full name before she was adopted.

[Lady Edfeil]

With Epiphany behind us, the holiday season is now completely over. Time to get back to the regular routine of day to day life. To tell the truth I am looking forward to it, even as we steal a few more extra days of holiday by spending some time with my parents in law. They are wonderful people that have welcomed me into the family from the very beginning, and of course they are happy to spend time with their overly adorable grandson.

But this wednesday it IS back to normal life. And what has been happening to my good intentions so far?
Well, considering the fact that I arrived home late the second of january, then left again the afternoon of the fourth, I would say we have been doing well. We have gotten up at a decent hour, spend the morning either tending to things that needed tending to, or (here at my in laws where there is not much to tend to) reading and doing some knitting. That allows me to start the day in peace. We are getting close to setting some kind of routine up and have been talking with my parents in law about plans for the entire year. That will give us more room to think in advance about preparations so our routines don't get tossed out so easily.

I am also looking for very EASY and quick recipe's of healthy food with simple ingredients. Many of the crockpot dishes that I've seen seem to ask for cream soups and have too few veggies, while my main objective is to get more veggies in our diet. Unfortunately the time I make dinner when it is not crockpot related is the time when Joseph starts to get fussy and wanting lots of mommy attention: the time right before daddy comes home. So it becomes pretty difficult to make something that requires a lot of chop and prep work. I am going to make this work though.
One day a week will be soup. One day stir fry perhaps. One day either chili or spaghetti with lots of veggies. That way I have four days for variations.

I am starting to feel better, hoping the new year will be a comfortable one, with peace of mind and less of the harried feeling that marked most of last year.

[Lady Edfeil]

Well, in a way this is the first day of the new year. At least, the first day of the new 'working' year. No, I have not taken on an outside job, but with staying with my in laws until yesterday,we didn't really get into the regular grind of things. Now though, the holidays are over and the new year really needs to start. It started well with me getting up in time, tidying a bit, taking care of computer stuff, and getting cleaned up and dressed before Joseph is awake. It's strange to have the week begin on a thurdsay and it was VERY tempting to just decide to 'let things go' for a few more days and 'start for real' on monday.
But that's the way that those good intentions fell by the wayside. So, that is why my husband did go running on the tredmill this morning and why I did get up to get some work in. I feel great, and I know that if my big boy wakes up now, I can greet him with a happy smile, not a grumpy face!

Plans for today:

- Tidy the house
- Put away the christmas decorations
- Contact two people
- Empty out the suitcase and put everything in the closet where it belongs
- Empty out the bags and put everything in the cupboards where things belong
- If the weather is nice enough, spend an hour or so in the backyard to let Joseph run like a wild man.

Sounds like a happy day, does it not?

[Lady Edfeil]

I have GREAT in laws. No room for mother in law jokes here. They have welcomed me in the family, helped me adapt to the new country, enveloped me in their love and been generally a wonderful support.
This christmas, my mother in law, gave me a wonderful gift. She said that when she had had a baby, her mother in law arranged for a cleaning crew to come once a month for a few months. Not for day to day maintenance, but for those things that you never get to with a sweet little one running around your ankles. She said she wanted to do the same thing for me!

I was thrilled! Especially when I met the man who came to check the house before the first cleaning and he told me that the very first time they came, they would do a deep spring cleaning. He talked about the ladies cleaning things that frankly, I had not cleaned since I moved in here half a year ago.
Besides, since november we have alternated between travelling or being sick. Needless to say, the house needs a bit of attention. Okay, make that a lot of attention. And while I feel pretty guilty at the idea of other people coming in and cleaning my house for me, I am extremely grateful for my mother in laws thoughtfulness.

In addition to that gratitude, the fact that professional cleaning ladies will come into my house today has another positive effect. With the suitcases and bags of three trips, one of them intercontinental, two of them with baby spread around the house, half unpacked and no time for much maintenance tidying when you just run in and out of the house for a few days before hitting the road again, the place had become cluttered. I detest clutter. I HATE clutter. I have almost religious objections against clutter. Unfortunately, like many temptations, clutter likes to keep a close eye on me and if I forgo the fight for a few weeks, it takes control over my house and over me. I become scatterbrained, distracted and don't get any work done.

Still, while I started to do some tidying here and there since last thursday when we we ended the string of holidays, it didn't really have a direction to it. But now, there will be professional cleaning ladies coming in my house. I do not want them to lose their time moving Josephs toys around, or dealing with sixteen little jars and tubes on my vanity table.
In the last three days, I threw out four or five bags of 'stuff', I emptied nearly every single surface, emptied all the suitcases and bags, put all the clothes that were clean back in the closets and those that weren't in the apropriete laundry baskets, and went through Josephs toy and book basket to weed out what wasn't played with anymore to put it away in a bin in the storage closet. The house looked ten times better even before the cleaning ladies came. And then they worked like tornado's for several hours. Wow... everything gleams, everything is dustfree, stubborn soapscum has dissapeared... heaven!

[Lady Edfeil]

This week seems to have flown by. Despite a difficult start, it feels good for us to be back in a routine, no matter how tentative. I am looking forward to todays feminine friday challenge and to the weekend. There is nothing as nice as having the whole family together. There are so many wonderful things waiting around the corner that the routine will most certainly need to be kept well in check.

Yesterday we found out of our good fortune to be able to take a spiritual retreat in the beginning of may. Joseph's grandparents are looking forward to a grandson sleep over, and while I certainly will miss him (last time I managed only to call three times a day) I am looking forward to a few days of just my beloved husband and the Lord.
We are going on a retreat to Mepkin abbey. There is no specific program, just the chance to live along the monks and rest your spirit, taking time to be with God. I am looking for a book perhaps to give our retreat some structure. Does anyone have any tips or must reads?
Of course I will take my bible and probably my knitting. But May is still far away. Before that, we will have a visit to my in laws in february, and they offered to keep Joseph on Valentines day. We might either go see a movie together or have a simple dinner. And then my mother will be here near the end of March for both of our birthdays.
Lots of simple joys to be planned in the months ahead of us.

[Lady Edfeil]

Yesterday was one of those gold bordered days it seems. And I had actually been dreading it. To avoid a long wait at the doctors I had snagged the second spot of the day, which was at 8.30 am. But since I had to bring my husband to work first (we chose to be a one car family) We needed to leave the house at 7.30 am. Two hours before Joseph's usual wake up time. And I do not like to tamper with his sleeping or nap schedule.

I could have spared myself all the worrying. Joseph behaved perfectly. He played nicely in the waiting room. He charmed all the nurses. And the doctor. Weight and height are in perfect proportion and he is way ahead of his 16 month development. In fact he would be ahead for his 18 month check up in cognitive as well as physical skills, and has a vocabulary triple of what an average sixteen month old has. Aside from that, he cried only for about five minutes when getting his shots and then was back to his sunny self.

He behaved incredibly well the entire day, playing a lot, bringing books and just being very sweet. It was so visible to me what a little sponge he is. And I feel so blessed to be able to spend this much time with him. I saw him select four puzzle pieces that together made up a yellow truck out of a whole box of puzzle pieces. He somehow knew that these pieces went together, even if he can't yet fit them together perfectly all the time. How is that for conceptual thinking? It just amazes me how much he can do already, how much he anderstands and how much every little game of blocks, puzzles and itsy bitsy spider helps him learn more things.
And as the most wonderful bow around the package, he is such a happy, affectionate boy, friendly towards other people, and loving towards his parents.

[Lady Edfeil]

My little boy, who has never been that interested in stuffed animals, developed an interest pretty rapidly in sleeping with them over the last month. It started out with duck. Actually, it started out with an empty cola bottle that daddy gave him to play with when he layed down for a nap. It kept him quiet instead of having him start nap time off howling. We found out that if we gave him his duck to take along to bed for naptime, he would go without much protest.
But after duck he also wanted to take doggie. And then after doggie he also wanted to take bear. Which is why each time when he goes up to bed, the whole menagerie goes along. And each time we bring him down, all three animals need to be taken down with him, where they are promptly forgotten once he has set foot on the living room floor.

But a few days ago, doggie went missing. For two naps and nights, we could not find doggie. We looked around at bedtime, but... no doggie under the couch, no doggie in the playpen. No doggie in the toybasket. No doggie under the desk.
Joseph asked after 'woefwoef' a few times, but was pretty content to go to bed with duck, bear and a toy horse added into the mix instead. Still, we wondered where the doggie had gone.

Last night, I really wondered 'now where could that dog have gone'? I tracked in my mind all the places where Joseph tends to play and all of a sudden I got it! I went to the kitchen, opened the doors to one of my bottom cabinet.. and upon closer inspection saw a little snout peeking from the deepest shadows of the cabinet. He had locked woefwoef in the cabinet!
I called Joseph and pointed. He immediately fell upon the little dog with great enthousiasm, dragging him out, hugging him close..... to then drop him on the floor again and forget all about him. Ahh, such a fickle, fickle love. And that while doggie has actually been with him since he was a tiny baby.

[Lady Edfeil]

I am a great admirer of romance. True romance that is. Now I don't have anything against roses, in fact I love them. Nor do I mind chocolates. I'm from Belgium. Just bring me the good stuff!
Too often we talk ill about romance because 'it's just movie invented hallmark induced fake stuff that has nothing to do with real life'. Not true. I experienced true romance this morning.
It was raining and on my way to dropping my husband off to work, I needed to get gas. I had been pretty grumpy during the morning since my usual routine was disturbed by getting Joseph out of bed half an hour earlier. I am still a novice driver and probably was not driving my best. I guess something in the set of my mouth told my wonderful husband that I was not in the best of moods. And as I pulled up at the gas station, knowing how much it rained, he simply offered: "Shall I do it?"
To me this is the modern day equivalent of someone spreading his coat out over a puddle. Only it is eminently more romantic since I won't need to wash a sodden, muddy coat. True romance is quietly offering to go out through the rain to fill up the tank so your wife doesn't have to. It doesn't come more simple or more sweet than that.