Pathways

[Halethala]

She felt . . compelled. It was the only real explanation she had. Though she'd not thought herself one to believe the "Hand of God" controlled the odd way things sometimes flowed together without conscious planning, she had noticed the phenomenon, and not discounted the possibility that there was a continuum of some degree. One would have to be a bit foolish to simply ignore a pathway that seemed someone beyond herself was paving in her stead . .

Hating to disturb the Lady in her grieving, she waited a few days before seeking her out. She watched for a time when she would be apart from Ellissia, not wanting in any way to set any more fear into the sweet child than she must already be sensing. The thought passed through Letha's mind that perhaps Lady Loxley should send her daughter to some safer place for a time, though did not know if there were anyplace she felt could protect the child more securely than WindStorm . . or whether the devoted mother could bear the separation. No, perhaps it was best they remained together . .

At last, one morning, she spotted Dream near the duck pond, alone . . She could easily imagine what was going through the Lady's mind. Missing Robin, longing for his companionship . . wishing he were beside her . . especially now . .

After watching at a respectful distance for a few moments, Letha spoke up quietly yet clearly without moving closer.

"So innocently do they tread their watery paths . . . blithely unaware of aught but their next meal . . " She watched the ducks that swam serenely, yet sped in keen competition at each morsel the Lady tossed to them. When she turned to glance up at the voice addressing her, Letha asked, "Can I join ye for a moment?"

[Dream Loxley]

*The words filtered through her melancholy mood......interrupting visions of the past she held on to so tightly....clinging to such memories of happier moment. She recognised the voice at once and turned to face the woman she was beginning to call a friend.*

"Aye...of course ye may....I shall be most glad of ye company M'Lady."

*Her smile was genuine.....her features lit up and her heart lifted itself from the lonely place it had fled to of late.*

[Halethala]

The cocoon of sadness that shrouded the Lady's spirit could not help but come through her words and body language. Letha almost regretted bothering her, yet perhaps she was right, company would help drive away the gloom a bit.

As much as she would simply like to wrap the Chatelaine into an embrace, she respected her position. Reaching down to grasp a handfull of the grass that grew longer along the slope to the pond, Letha moved close and began tossing single blades into the still waters, watching them move to some unseen lazy current beneath the surface. Bah, even nature seemed to speak forth of her fears . .

Lady Dream . . I know much of life is fraught with uncertainty, that we must face what comes with courage and dignity. Yet if there be any way to lessen the unknown, I wager we should seize it . .

*She came then to sit near, still holding a few of the stems in her hand* I hae learned to defend myself from my father's fury . . against the vagaries of lone travel . . against the merenaries that Nola laid in wait at Lord Morrowyth's estate, with Gerrad . .

Yet this . . *a sweep of her hand taking in the home that has always seemed so safe to her, the short time she's been here* This threat of war . . how can ye bear the waiting? What are we to expect, M'lady . . for I've heard and read that this nae be the first time the defense has had to ready in anticipation of conflict.

*She could not yet ask what she wished . . but her delay was not a ruse . . *

[Dream Loxley]

*She watched the lady....her features obviously showing the concern she felt deep within the depths of her heart....perhaps the darkest of memories had surfaced now...since she spoke of defending herself. What abuse had this one suffered...she could only envisage such and shook her head slowly to imagine Letha as a young girl. There was much hidden here....much still to learn of one another....but time would allow them...iffn such 'twas meant to be so.

She moved along the tree trunk.....her own and her beloved having sat here so often....now she sat with a friend...and she smiled warmly as she tried to find the right words to speak.*

"We always wait....'tis what we do methinks......but......many a time we have come close to war and escaped unscathed....others....as when ye Sinold's people came.....we did lose many and such did break us. But we rose once again...and shall do always iffn 'tis meant to be so Letha. I have faith in the men......in my Robin....Dorian......even ye betrothed does his best fer us all."

*She brushed the crumps from her skirt into a small pile and flicked them off onto the grass beside them......one brave duck came close enough to forrage and enjoy the last of the meal......she looked to her new friend and smiled softly.....unable to promise her safe keeping......unable to tell her all would be well. She simply reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly as she sat there pondering the days to come.*

[Halethala]

Perhaps it was the kindness of her affectionate grip . . perhaps the tense awaiting the unknown and the threat of death that hung unspoken in the very air, perhaps the sword that Sinold had made for her . . she wasn't certain, but for some reason, a floodgate had been lowered and memories long forced to dark hiding allowed to surface again . .

It had been Dream before in the gardens in spring that had heard her speak lost memories of her mother. Would the lovely woman endure her speech yet again? It was not why she approached, yet . . perhaps again, deep down, it was . .

My father was a bard, Dream . . *watching the surprise register on her face* That surprises you? Not all bards have light and merry hearts . . he had an amazing memory, and could speak forth for hours the oral traditions of our people. Not much was written yet, it is just now beginning to be recorded to letters.

He had been ordered to travel, and left my mother for several years. He had not been gone long when she lost her heart to one of the conquerers that had settled amongst us. I know so little, the details very sketchy and not learned until almost too late . . but upon his return and discovery of me, her assurances that I was his and older than I truly was were met with grave suspicions. I was small for my age, so he could have been fooled, yet there was still the matter of my coloring . .

I grew up in a household of wealth, yet ate each meal with in simmering tenseness. His constant pressure on her to force the truth slowly drove her inwards, the newfound faith in the Christian God her refuge at first . . yet even in that, the guilt of her lies and sin overcame any help He may have offered her, never able to forgive herself . . she escaped into a falsely happy world where no emotions could touch her, the frozen smile on her face a shield to ward all away.

He finally discovered the truth, and in a fit of rage, slew her before my eyes . . He did his best to mold me into a fighter, to teach me to kill . . I fought, all right . . fought HIM . . how could I kill the Norse he hated so much, when one of them may have been my mother's love . .

I can find no joy in bloodshed . . *She turned eyes that sparkled with tears* Yet never will we be free from it haunting our steps . . Running from it will not keep it from happening, if not to us, to someone else less deserving.

Dream, I can think of little else to do in the face of this, should war come, than to seek her God in the chapel here. He could not keep her safe, but perhaps it was here prayers that kept me alive this long . .

[Dream Loxley]

*Absently, she twirled the locket around within her hand as she listened.....her thumb stroking it, her forefinger turning it back and forth......she was both suprised and yet relieved as Halethala told more of her past. Surpised to hear her speak of a bard....as she had always seen them to be of a gentle nature....and yet...any man faced with the knowledge that perhaps his child was indeed nae his.....she sighed softly then, as she felt a great pity for the man.

To not know one's Father.....she understood such.... an awful battle would have ensued within her heart and mind.....how tragic for a family to live with such distrust. Her hand had left the locket and reached once more towards Letha..... she could only offer words of sympathy and understanding...but no spoken word could ever make up for what she had suffered. How could her poor Mother have tollerated the anguish and pain.....how could Letha have borne such frustrations.

She squeezed her friend's arm and nodded as the story unfolded......no wonder she was a fighter.....but to have such faith in God..... she could never understand that to this day. In truth, she was at a loss now....what to say.....how to speak the words....she had no answers, nor reason for any behaviour...it was simply how life was.....both good and bad fighting for our attentions daily. Her words when they came forth, were quiet and gentle....from her heart.*

"Ye have honoured me....with telling me of ye past...and ...I am deeply sadened that ye all had to suffer so much...'tis nae right.....but...'tis how life be aye. And to pray...to have faith in ye Lord as ye do....indeed...iffn such be what ye wish to do...then please..... do such with my blessings....but......" *Her words trailed off.....she nae wished to abuse the trust Letha had given to her in this short time.*

"Do ye nae believe that ye strength...ye courage....ye faith in ye own abilities 'tis what kept ye safe.....and the faith ye Mother had in ye. We can nae ever help how our hearts do speak....ye poor Mother could nae help but to love another...and she paid the price deeply...and in so many ways. She was nae to blame....nor ye Father... nor.....aye...the man whom could be ye kin. We can nae live in the past my friend.....look to the future now....to ye Sinold and all that shall be good between ye. Mostly...look to yeself and find that courage ye had when ye would fight ...... 'tis there still.. I know such to be true."

[Halethala]

She held her caring gaze for a long time before finally admitting, "Perhaps ye be right, Dream . . there be a fine line between simply caving in to drift on a sea of fate, and forging your way like a bull on a rampage . . The future, aye . . the future . . but iffen it be built on a foundation riddled with missing spaces, it nae be firm enough to bear what comes. I do well to face the past and nae hide from it any longer.

But the future . . *she smiled then as she thought of the brave little duck, risking the unknown to snatch the last of the snack* what can we women do, Dream? Don't misunderstand me, I DO trust Lord Hawkmoon and your fearless husband . . . and Sinold . . and all who stand ready to defend with their lives . . but surely there be sommat we can do as well?

She sat for a time then, close to the Chatelaine, not even a whisper of a breeze rippling the glasslike surface of the pond . . and slowly a smile spread over her face, memories of tales she'd overheard in some tavern along her journeys returning to her.

M'Lady . . it seems I recall some devious "weapons" devised by enterprising women that found themselves hard pressed to defend their homes . . . summat with stuffin' cleansed entrails nae with sausages, but hideously scented concoctions that they would either tie loosely or verra verra tightly and scatter hidden on the pathways approaching their homes . . depending on the mixture, it would either nauseate them that's stepped wrongly on them as they burst open, or at the least, made it impossible for them not to be detected. Breaking concentration and tossing a bit of mayhem into the ranks sometimes would give the defenders the little edge they needed . .

I wonder iffen the Healers know of anything that would work well . . iffen it be sommat we could fix up and lay out as nice little surprises for any that would threaten . . Perhaps the new apprentices could help, at the Lady Laurestina's discretion, being still so ill herself . .

A rueful grin at Dream. "Of course, we'd hae to remember where they'd been put in the event it be all for naught . . that would be a scavenger hunt few would wish to embark upon, I wager . .

I don't know . . it were just a thought . .

[Dream Loxley]

*She smiled to herself more than to Halethala.... nae turning to look upon her but keeping her eyes focused ahead at the ducks now preening themselves.*

"Aye.......many a foundation shall have holes within.....but as ye grow do ye nae fill them....with each of the smallest memories....the little imparted gifts of knowledge. Ye will build a firmer base.....'tis to be sure especially now ye have a home and a family who cares for ye so."

*She had almost chuckled at the notion of these strange weapons and raised her brow as she turned then to look upon Halethala. Her features were slightly green about the edges.*

"Ye truly think ye could make such a thing?.... methinks my stomach 'twould nae endure ....... oh nae, even the thought does turn me within."

[Halethala]

*She smiled warmly at the poor Lady's discomfort, realizing though there may have been ways around it, a rag dipped in camphor to mask the smell a little, she was probably right. Squeezing her hand one last time, she arose and kissed Dream on her cheek . .

"Thanks for your kind listening ear, and wise advice, sweet Dream . ."

And with that, she turned and . . left . .

[Dream Loxley]

*The kiss was welcomed... a comfort within such frightful and worrying times. She had smiled softly and shielded her eyes from the sun as she looked up at Halethala rising from the log. Mayhaps her words had helped.....mayhaps nae.....she did nae have all the answers, not the knowledge to make all things right. Her own mind was in turmoil as to what to do... but for the most part...she would continue her duties as best she could.

She nodded and smiled more....."And I thankye most kindly fer spending time with me Halethala."

*She was not drawn to return yet to the Castle.....and sat a while watching the ducks settle down after their meal...content....filled bellies and now ready to sleep. Oh if all things in life could be so simple.*