Settling in again.

[Dream Loxley]

*The weather was indeed being kinder but still the threat of cold rain was never far. Spring surely was gracing all with her presence and the gardens indeed were a credit to Mother Nature. She chuckled as she watched Ned fighting his ever constant battle with the grounds, if not fallen leaves, there was always something for the man to tend to..... she would be joining him as time allowed, for she found such peace within the gardens.

Ellissia had grown even more, she was certain, her constant chatter was refreshing and a reminder that there still was so much knowledge the small one had yet to learn. They had spent several hours together upon her return to the Castle.....her tales of laughter and dancing seemed to enthrall her daughter, and next time she would take her again to visit with the travellers. Such joy she found within their encampment, almost a magical time she would treasure for always.

For now, her days would be filled once again with duties and preparations for the coming Festival......she would seek audience with Lady Edfeil as soon as she was able.... and was thrilled to have been invited on a ladies shopping expedition in the village. New gowns were definately within the minds of the ladies, and she was already choosing colours within her mind.

She had missed her family and would enjoy settling again into the routine of life in Windstorm...... the days held so much promise as the Spring sunshine greeted her smile. Indeed....all was well in the Loxley world.*

[Halethala]

The earth had always seemed so solid and unyielding to her . . slamming into it from the height of horseback, toppling from branches too slim to hold her weight, crashing under her father’s instructive blows . . except in spring. It seemed to bare it’s softness with such vulnerability then, like a puppy rolling upon its back for a good scratching. How she loved the spring.

Dream was back! The gardens were a favored haunt of hers, Letha had been told, which seemed perfectly in character with the lovely Chatelaine’s sweet, serene spirit. Letha hoped Dream would allow her to join her in the care of the grounds occasionally. She’d found solace in settling in amongst the fragrant blooms of Greybrook, plucking at the ever recurring weeds that threatened to rob the nourishment from the more treasured plants. Not always knowing what she was doing, she’d done the best she could, drawing rare praise from Lord Morrowyth.

She’d strolled the dormant grounds of Windstorm’s magnificent gardens, not recognizing even half of what populated it’s many well-manicured beds . . she hoped there would be some to teach her the names, and tried to guess what each would look like as it revealed it’s secret delights to the springtime warmth.

She guessed there would be much the gentle Lady could teach her . .

[Dream Loxley]

(( *S* assuming she may find you))

*She gently tilted the small branch towards her face and inspected the tiny shoots.....smiling she could see the new growth and anticipated a show of bright pink flowers when the shrub was ready to bloom. She had thought it lost when the bad weather took its toll on some more delicate plants, but always to her delight, nature had a way of coping.

So many frogs were a-courting in the duck pond....she had laughed loudly as she watched their frenzied antics..always a sure sign of Spring and so interesting, if not embarrasing at times to witness. The noises also bringing a grin to her features as she hid behind the tree. They may be eager to mate, but one slight sound would send them deep into the waters until the coast was clear again.

The figure she saw was a welcome sight and she waved a hand in greetings.....Halethala seemed to her a gentle soul, mayhaps troubled more than she would allow any to see as yet. Time would help her.....settle her fears and hopefully lay to rest any demons from the past that might still haunt her dreams.

She smiled as she neared the lady, glad to see her again and eager to speak of the days past.....more so those yet to be. Her hand seemed to slip easily into the crook of Halethala's arm and the ladies enjoyed idle banter as they walked together through the gardens.*

[Halethala]

It was a welcome relief, to have this time of peace with the Lady Dream all to herself . . . just the simple touch of her hand upon Letha's arm was such a calming gesture, one that held no demands or required nothing but friendship in return. She visibly relaxed at the feel of it, wanting only to speak of the flowers, the warming days, the spring cleaning, the shopping journey, the upcoming festival, wee Ellissia . . . anything but her own past, or what weighed upon her heart . .

They stopped now and again, knelt at times to brush away dead leaves and debris, unearthing surprises at times. There would be pruning and spading up the dark soil to sow the seeds of those that had been harvested last fall. Death . . so prevalent, so oppressively sure and certain . . yet the circle of life went onwards, no matter how devastating the losses . . . sun would shine and gentle rains cleanse, and growth would come again. Perhaps that was why there was such healing here amongst the plants . .

She wondered aloud if she could have fresh bouquets of flowers in her room once they riot of blooms began in earnest . . it seemed a luxury beyond all others, yet the gardens were so BIG! There had to be thousands of plants . . her eyes sparkled into Dream's eyes at the very anticipation of such a treasure! There was much to look forward to . . much . .

[Dream Loxley]

*She had enjoyed their time together greatly...a calmness... a simple walk...speaking of all things wonderful and looking to the future. There was something Halethala kept hidden, or at least she tried to hide it...but deep within her eyes.....within the words she spoke, there was a tinge of sadness. Something that hurt her...cut her deeper than any sword she could see that.

She saw the same within her beloved at times, but hoped time and special moments such as this had been... would perhaps enable the Lady to unburden her soul. It was the only way she could ever move forward...no amount of Spring flowers and sunshine would cleanse the darkness she had not spoken of...but one day.....one day perhaps.

As she broke off several stems of yellow daffoldils and placed them into Halethala's hands...she smiled warmly and spoke of times yet to be.....that we would endure the bad times together and thus be able to appreciate all the good. This was the way of things........*

[Halethala]

Letha had prevailed upon the grace of Lady Loxely yet again, findin’ her amongst the beds, cleaning away yet more winter debris. The spring sun having warmed the soil, a profusion of green dotting the browned deadness, promising life. Letha worked alongside Lady Dream, watching and absorbing nae only the skill of her hands, but her bearing and gentleness, her wisdom . . As the early shoots of the jonquils and tulips unfurled their wee faces to meet yet another season of growth and life, Letha’s soul had begun to thaw as well . . so much pain, so many hidden memories . . so much she’d tried to bear alone, for there’d been none close to trust such things with . . none that had cared a whit.

Tentatively, as one testing the strength of a fragile limb to see if it would bear her weight, she began to softly speak of her own mother, the maternal love of Lady Dream for Ellissia having touched Letha’s memories deeply and stirred images long hidden. Nae daring to look the Lady in the eyes, she dug with determination in the soft ground alongside Dream, working the soil to prepare the beds. “My mother, she loved pretty things, Lady Loxley. Flowers, she gathered them daily, in masses, to set in the hall and bring color to our chambers . . when I were small . . And she sang, nae quite as sweetly as Lady Beren . . but with a voice as velvet as a young doe’s eyes . . She were all softness and smiles. The servants adored her, tried to protect her as if she were as fragile as glass . . “

Letha’s digging increased, until a sheen of sweat beaded on her upper lip, and her face reddened from the effort. This was harder than Lady Loxley could have guessed. “Ye see, she WERE fragile . . something within her could nae stand t’face life squarely, and so, she created a world fer herself that did nae need reality to be a’pesterin’ it . . Some women harden to trials, and become bitter, crochtey old naggity things, Lady, d’they not? Some give up, give themselves o’er to duty and endless hours of work, s’they dinnae need to e’er think one free thought fer themselves. Some end the pain long afore their time . . havin’ lost all hope that happiness will e’er find a nest within their feminine souls ag’in. Some, like ye, embrace life, finding beauty, joy, fullness where’er they can . . “

Letha reached far under a bush to scoop the dead leaves beneath, pricking her fingers on unknown barbs hidden in them. Lifting her arm to pull it back out in reaction, she gouged a long line onto the back of her wrist on another barbed thorn laced within the underside of the bush. The scarlet beaded and grew, held by tension until it domed in bubbles, then when broke in several spots, trickling to fall, absorbed in the dark dirt beneath. Letha watched silently, then motioned slightly to Dream, still unable to really look at the woman’s face. “We oft’ nae ask for what’s handed to us . . nae wish our fate. We think we can choose how we will react to whate’er comes our way, but too oft’ it be our shapin’ what’s chooses for us . . “ Finally looking up to Lady Dream, a vulnerability in her eyes. “She were happy in her insular, false world, Lady . . perhaps that nae be all wrong? Nae truly livin’, but nae feelin’ any hurt either.”

Letha stopped, uncertain whether to say further what she wanted so badly to understand. “How could it hae angered him so . . me father. It were s’if she were attacking his manhood, nae reacting to his bullyin’ . . . the more she hid, the further she drew from us, from life, the angrier he became.” Letha dropped her voice to a husky whisper. “He ne’er laid a hand against her . . lettin’ it all build up inside him until he finally tried to beat a reaction into her vacant, smilin’ eyes. She ne’er smiled again . .

I thought that were what men truly wished deep inside, Lady Dream . . . a woman what’s face were pretty, and ne’er fightin’ his will, nor challengin’ with tears?

Summat I could ne’er be . . "

[Dream Loxley]

*The sun felt warm upon her back as she knelt upon the rug....the skin of her neck exposed beneath her hair as it was pinned up, loose strands framing her features. She welcomed the company as she toiled with the small trowel, carefully loosening the earth around fragile new shoots, the occasional worm scurrying away quickly lest a passing bird should seek it for dinner. The weeds pulled with ease from the sanctuary of the soil, simply a plant growing where it should not be, she thought of this as she placed another dandelion into the bucket. It was a flower after all.

When Halethala spoke, her words seemed to come from nowhere, this sudden insight given....a look into her past, unexpected and yet....it felt right to listen. She felt honoured to be privvy to such memories. Kneeling back now upon her heels....simply watching the lady as she tended the garden. There was a purpose to her hands as they cleaned away winter's debris...as if she was also clearing away spent memories....making room for new ones yet to come. She did not turn...she did not look, nor stray from the task in hand...she simply spoke of her Mother and her Father. The torment she was enduring was evident, and as she listened....she felt the pain....the agony within this strong woman.

The sudden sharp intake of breath caused alarm, the blood a reminder of a wound...no matter how deep, some still open and raw, whilst others healed. Instinctively Lady Dream tore a strip of cotton from her apron....with care she took Halethala's arm and wrapped the fabric around the tear in her flesh, finally making eye contact, she saw the tears welling.....her eyes were full of questions....bewilderment, so many emotions....so much hurt and perhaps regret for what had passed long ago.

When finally she felt it right to speak...she did so with tenderness.....with one aim...to try and heal those open wounds....the ones cut far too deep to sooth with a simple strip of apron.*

"Some men, they do seek a mild mannered woman Halethala.....or a trophy to dangle with elegance from their arm. Some want a mere slave, and thus do treat them as such. Others relish a challenge, a woman with spirit and vitality...mayhaps as yer Sinold does see in ye. Ye Mother did as she saw was right aye.....we can nae question such things...but we may learn from them. Sometimes I do wonder iffn we have a choice....would we indeed make the same mistakes...for 'tis what we might be used to ye think. To change would be too hard fer some...to make the best....as did ye Mother....to live within her world as she did...'twas right Halethala....'twas as she wished it to be. I am sorry she suffered...truly sorry. She must have loved ye so.....and she showed ye the good things within her world....the flowers and the singing....'tis pleasing memories ye must hold on to."

*Her hands were dirty from the soil, she tied the dressing and smiled at Halethala.....hoping what she had spoken might make some sense for it did to her....and she wished with all her heart for one moment..she might remember her own Mother differently and not only by the screams that haunt her nightmares still.*

[Halethala]

((Oooouu . . Dream, that actually brought tears to my eyes . . *hugs gently* I cannot wait to compose Letha's response))