Return to days of old....

[Pharaoh Abishua]

*~* her eyes rose looking at the cieling of the guest chamber she had taken...till she was able to get another chamber...since she was moving out of the one she once called her beloved....a hard swallow as she stomached the words from the previous evening...that she spoke to Dorian....."anullment" yes she had cause for it but the words still stung her heart and brought a knott to her stomach.....pulled her knees to her chest as she cried within the darkness of her chamber.....the tears were silent as she held herself....hearing the sounds of the early morning voices in the hall she pushed herself up from the bed she was nae able to sleep in months......her heart had fallen fully dorment.....looked at her face shaking her head...her eyes were blood shot she knew full well if she ran into her any of the family they would know she was crying.....something she wanted to hide...took a deep breath and swallowed closing her eyes leting them relax....easily they did but they were still alittle puffy*~*

*~* kneeled down before her trunk ...opening it frowning a bit as she did her wedding gown laid on top....tossing it aside...as she reached down in the bottom pulling out her tunic and leathers...both black as the nights sky.....removing her lady like colthing she had on...replacing it with the tunic and leathers..closing the trunk on the gowns with a loud deathening thud...that part of her life ....the somewhat human part was over.....she wouldn't miss it was nae comfortable for her to be lady like....Her brothers knew it as did her sons...she put that facade up long enough*~*

*~* it was now time to start anew again...she was what she was ...she avoided darkness as long as she could to the piont of hurt again......she was cursed and she knew it.......her soul old as it was knew she wasn't meant to have a heart.....replacing the weapons of old that she so long had hidden away as a promise to another to turn a new leaf....were all replaced....picked up a pair of siscors quickly in the silence taking a long deep breath as she looked at the long locks she had grown.....yes she was used to a boyish cut but alas she had let it grow out to the piont it was past her rear....took up the item and sliced straight across her hair....removing to the piont just below the shoulders...still in a lords cut but a longer hair cut....her eyes fell apon the hair that now laid dorment on the floor....a single shadowy tear fell down her cheek.....*~*

*~*ran a bone brush through her hair and pulled it back as a lord would.....her eyes and features were nae ever that much lady like....alittle aye she did have the curse of beauty but alas she was raised as a lord....so was not hard for her to look this way she spent many years doing such.....*~*

*~*buckled the hidden daggers back on her wrists....and replaced her sword back on her side.....she had given dorian her wedding band when she asked for the anullment...she couldn't bear to look at it......but there was an outline on her finger where it once was......her hearts sorrow was there but alas she hid it well..was evident in her eyes that once more her darkned soul and past had over took her*~*

*~*headed downstairs to the hall locking the door behind herself...finding all three of her sons downstairs....julian wraped her up in an embrace and held her for a moment...each child was from a previous love...two from former husbands and one from a former betrothed....she swallowed hard as she put Erik Son of Repsol on his lap.....explaining to him that this was not done out of hate or loathing for his father but was just something she needed to do before his dissapearence killed her.....and that maybe someday if it's meant to be his parents will be back together again.....Julian and Sorrel both sat there quietly as they listened....to there mother....erik though had tears in his eyes even if he didn't understand...he just clung tightly to his mother hoping not to lose her...kissed each of them on the cheeks....before they went out to walk and talk more with Erik*~*

*~*she took a deep breath feeling she failed her own childern...repsol.....Dorian....edfeil.....agustaine ....and all the rest of her family by this choice...bowed her head ....as darkness over took her features she refused to cry in front of all of them...she just sat near the hearth with her head bowed*~*

((ooc ok all before this gets taken the wrong way...this was a very hard decision for me I'm good friends with andy rt ...and the two courted for a long time before even marring....part of me is crushed rt even for jas she's a part of the scribe that created her over seven years ago.....she gets hurt I feel hurt....wierd but guess all our chars are part of us in a way.....anyone is open to answer this post if they want......I just couldn't put jas through anymore pain...and sat and wieghed my opitions for six months.....it's been two years almost and jas and rep spent very lil time together...if he comes back who knows what will happen just want all of you to know I hate none of you and this wasn't done out of spite....but needed to get that off m'chest....sorry it had to come to this though......))

[Lady Edfeil]

*She had worried over Jasmine the moment she had layn eyes upon her again. Something was amiss. She could feel it deep inside, feel it into her very bones. The chill that radiated from her was the chill of old. The chill that had her sister in law seek out dangers and fights, push herself past endurance and cloak herself in shadows.
Edfeil doubted if Jasmine knew which worry, which pain she caused within her by each step she took back towards the shadows. But the step of this night had nearly cut off breath from her body, as she saw Jasmine quietly take off the ring she wore and hand 't to Lord Hawkmoon. Edfeil hadn't spoken, what use would 't be to prod her finger in what was a wound in her friends heart.

She had not spoken, but at night tears had wet her pillow. Her brother would return. She would not give up hope. She would never give up hope. He had promised her she would not loose again. And she would not. She would hold on to hope, not let anything, not even doubt, diminish it.
As to Lady Jasmine... her love would nae fade. She had seen the coldness in her eyes and had seen her push away love, friendship and all that was warm, into a darkened corner of her soul and lock 't away. Yet Edfeil nae needed love in return to keep giving from her heart. And so naught would change from her. Whatever it would cost her, she would suround her friend with the warmest and tenderest care she would allow.*





I'm sure everyone, including Repsols player understands your decision, Jas. It has been two years. No doubt when he returns, you can work things out again. *ss* Edie will disaprove very much of an annulment IC of course, but even IC that won't diminish her love. *W* And OOC I have no doubt that this was not a decision taken lightly, as I'm sure everyone will know as well.