Anyone wants a baby? Seriously? I'll pay postage

[Lady Edfeil]

This is the eight hellish week and no matter what anyone says, it does not get better. Baby has no rhythm, at all. At this moment, nearly five am, he has been awake for the last two and a half hours with all the energy of a three year old on a sugar high.
We can't get him to lay down in his bed without screaming his head off before 11 pm, and between that and 6 am he wakes three to 4 times easily still. Recently that may be shifting to going to bed a bit earlier, but then by 2.30 am, there is no more sleeping. Not that before 2.30 am he sleeps from, for example 10 pm till 2.30 am of course. No even in that time he needs to get up. Usually to be fed. He has the size of the average 3 months old or larger, even though he only gets breastmillk, with which you supposedly can't overfeed a baby. We've tried a top off bottle of formula to get him to sleep more, but that does not work either.
By 5 or 6 he may consent to go back to sleep. Or not. And the weird thing is that he does not sleep that much during the day either. Usually just one nap of about two hours if that much.
Each time when we have one night, or one day that things seem to get better, we get hope, only to be up for about 20 hours straight the next. There are things I need to get back to. Things I need to do. And I'm not even speaking of my household that has not been done since he is born. I don't even care about that. I can't for the life of me think why anyone ever thought I would be good at this mothering thing. I told people I did not think so, and I feel that I was right.
I have always had trouble sleeping myself. I need to be perfectly relaxed with only familiar or regular sounds around me, and even then it takes me an hour to slide off to sleep. Usually by that time baby wakes up. I thought by now there would at least be some progress.
Each time I THINK it gets better, I get slapped up the head with something like 20 hours straight of being awake. (I didn't even know a baby COULD do that.)
I miss you guys so. ANd I start to feel like an extremely bad queen. I want to be back. Now.

[Halethala]

Awww Eva . . . how I wish I could just gather you up in my arms and let you SLEEP for hours on end! Everyone can joke about how being a parent is the toughest job on earth, but it's so absolutely true! I remember being terrified of my first child, feeling so terribly alone and completely responsible for him, and the thought of 18 more years looming ahead of us would just seem so overwhelming!

First of all, we miss you too, very much. You simply cannot let the thought of returning to your throne add to your stresses right now. Assuming you're in contact with your doctor about his erratic sleep patterns, I doubt any of us could give advice you haven't already tried. Like sometimes, if you know you've done eveything you can to meet his needs, just let him cry it out instead of picking him up? (I know, that's very hard to do) Or maybe just hiring someone to come in and watch him while you go out . . even if it's to a hotel to luxuriate in several straight hours of oblivious SLEEP!

The truth is . . it WILL get better . . it will! Right now it seems like he'll be this way forever, but he won't. Really, he won't . . . (I used to sooooo doubt women when they assured me that, and maybe even hated them a little, but it really is true) And remember, too, that his fussiness does not make you a bad mother. Not in the least! Nor him a bad baby . .

Love you dearly!

[--Erik--Montague--]

-leaves hugs- This does happen and best to talk to someone even through e-mails before you get stressed out. Believe me there are times I think I"m the worst mother ((oocly note yes Erik is played by a girl)) ...I never thought I was cut out to be a mother and I screamed it to high heaven the nights and days I went through it with him and my son is three now. Good lord I still go through it. Best thing I can say is when he sleeps to sleep and have coffee available at your finger tips. Much as we want them to they don't know about schedules and things that need to be done. Just remember we did this to our parents, and as my father puts it and mother when you have a child it's visiting on you same or worse then they got when we were infants.

Have you spoken with his doctor to check and see if he has colic or anything...if he is have a nice trick that will put him to sleep that a doctor taught us with our son..though when it was taught thought the doctor was a quack and it would never work but it did and put him (John) to sleep every time. You have my e-mail and IM's if you need me.

Your not a BAD queen and you are a good mother. Just takes time to get used to it. There even many times after people told me the same thing I didn't believe them but I ended up on meds for post partum depression and yes I will openly admit that I was on them for it on top of my other med problems. But I also didn't talk to people when I wanted to scream.

-Leaves more hugs and coffee as well as chocolate for Eva-

[Repsol]

Oh dearest Edie, now I know no matter what you would never part with your lil one, get yourself down to the Keys with a slingshot and shoot the first stork you see land.
Won't get your bundle taken back but it may make you feel better. I found with Chloe, a trip in the car settled her enough to get her through a few hours sleep, though she slept in her car seat, we took her out the car first of course , trying to think what music got the mood right, Robbie Williams I think, swing while your winning, almsot certain some Nat King Cole too, Barry White may do the trick, something deep and soft sets a good atmosphere, if it works I won't charge you for this first consultation
Oh and the Queeny bit, I think your great so don't fret we can save all the things till you get back, there isn't an awful lot for you too worry about, well not immediately anyhow, well hardly much....well OK nothing...


& to you guys

From well you know who....

[Sinold Bragasson]

*hugz Eva gently*

Aww Edie, I know you so looked forward to having a child. This may be a tough time but I KNWO you are a wonderful, if exhausted, mom, and that Bill is there to help you through this!

I pray Little Joe will soon find more sleep and let you be yourself again. Maybe ask someone to babysit, at least for a few hours?

Forget about WS! You are NOT a bad queen, and neither a bad mom! So, come back here when Joe let's you! Until then... WS will remain and always be here until the queen returns!

Just don't mind a goat dropping here or there

[~Eiluna~]

Awww, Eva...

I thought I was cut out for motherhood, and still went through times like this... my daughter had nursing problems, so I had to tape on this little supplemental bottle thing each time she ate... Well, for a time, she would wake me up... I'd take 15 mintues to get the bottle thing ready... then she'd fall asleep after about 10 minutes of feeding... so I'd put her down, take everything off, lay down for about 1/2 hour... and she'd wake up again... *groans*

Proabably the worst part of this all is the sleep deprivation. You can't see things clearly when your mind isn't working properly, which it won't when you've been up for 20 hours... and then maybe got 2 hours sleep... AND it tends to make one cranky!

Maybe try a breast pump? Pump a little at the end of each nursing session, and then you'll have enough for a bottle, which Bill can give to Joe while you sleep. (freeze or refrigerate until ready to use, of course) At least this could forestall one sleep interruption!

Another possibility is "colic". My daughter had problems with gas, and was up a lot at night with it. There is a product called "Mylicon" which is not a drug, just a safe substance that breaks up gas in the system. It comes in drops for babies, and it saved my sanity more than a few times, it REALLLLY helps!

As most have said, it will get better.... Just hold on, and know that this too, will pass.

*hugs warmly*

[Brennekah Windstrike]

awww...poor mommy. My friend went throguh the same thing, I bought her daughter a baby t-shirt that said, "sleep is for the weak."

[sofia]

~~~~HUUUGGGGGZZZZZZZ~~~~

[Jenna]

Hugsss softly... Dear Friend.. You are a super Mom.. Even if You don’t think so at this moment.. all that every one has said can only be repeated.. and I will add one thing.. since my youngest granddaughter is only 4 months old.. Her mom found the new odd looking Dr Brown's baby bottles were a god send.. for all the same reasons you are describing.. like Eiluna suggested try the pump and perhaps these bottles it may help .. and being a Grandma.. Might I also suggest some light peppermint water settles a tummy. and the young man sounds like he is ready for more than milk perhaps even though the Drs will say not.. Sounds it to me.. But that’s just my 2 cents....
Eva.. Your a wonderful mom and lil Joe is very lucky to have such Love from you and His dad..
it will get better Sweetie.. promise..
Hugssssssssss

[Teresa O'Connor]

Hon, Congrats on the baby. I don't get on much anymore but am glad to hear you all are doing well.... except for the lack of sleep thing.


Now you met my two darlings.... they are as different as night and day. Jim was a very easy baby. Went to sleep when it was time, took naps like clock work. Carlie was and still is the more difficult of the two. As a baby she drove me nuts. I knew if she had been the first born there would have never been a second. LOL

Here are the best tips I know from when she was a baby. Some worked, some didn't. Hope it helps you.

1)Remember that its ok to let a baby cry. A good rule of thumb is 15 minutes. Lay the baby down, close the door and walk away. Stay within ear shot mind you but don't go pick the baby up or make any sounds that would let the baby know you are near. They will cry themselves to sleep. If the baby is still crying after 15 minutes, then go pick the baby up for just a few minutes and lay the baby down again.

2) White noise. Finding the right white noise isn't always easy. Relaxing taps of ocean waves, the vacuum cleaner, a mat massager put down near the crib and other things like that will sooth the baby's mind allowing the baby to relax and fall off to sleep.

3) The car... when desperate, yes I would strap her little butt into a car seat and drive her around the block once. She would be out like a light.

4) Around three months old I started feeding her just a tiny bit of very watered down rice cereal to help her sleep since her problem seemed partly due to waking up hungry.

5) If you are nursing watch what you are eating. Things like pepper, raw and sometimes cooked vegetables (particularly cabbage and onions), garlic, tomato, anything with any spice at all will come out in your milk and upset the baby's tummy.

6)Bath before bed. Giving a warm bath before bedtime will often tucker a baby out. Snuggle them up afterwards and make sure to cover the baby's head with a little cap to hold in warmth.

Try using these not only at night but at preset nap times. Set up a schedule for naps... adjust as you see the baby react to them. If the baby doesn't want to nap until 11:00, try putting the baby down at 10:30 to get the baby used to the idea that she is about to take a nap. Don't expect to be able to put her down at 11:00 and have her fall right off to sleep, cause that just isn't going to happen.

[Sir Kyle Draven]

~huggles me friend~......Sure it has been said, but we miss you too.....and you are nae a bad Queen. We can take care of things hee till you get back. *S* Hope to see you soon my friend, I do miss you. Till next we meet, take care *S*